Death of a loved one is one of the toughest transitions to go through. There is not easy way to go about it. How are we expected to move on when we feel lost? What’s the point of moving on? Why did she or he have to die? Why did their death have to happen that way? So many unanswered questions circle in our minds over and over like a broken record player. They keep repeating in our heads every single day; when we wake up, when we go to bed, when we see his shoes or her purse, when the holidays arrive or on her most precious day – her birthday. Pretty soon we find ourselves stuck in a routine of thinking about him or her. We can’t seem to break out of it. We can’t seem to break free and truthfully… we don’t want to break free. Because if we do, that may mean we’ll forget and we certainly do not want to forget.
So we stay stuck in wondering about the same questions. We stay stuck in not knowing what to do next. We stop going out or doing things with other people. We hide in our homes. We lie low. We don’t feel like going out anymore. We tell people we’re just not feeling up to it. We stay stuck… in a rut… and essentially, when the person we love stopped living, so did we.
However, we were not put on this Earth to die. We were put on this Earth to live. We were meant for more… so much more! The person who departed before us knows this. He knows this because he’s passed over and can see more clearly. He can see what you’re doing too. He can see when you’re sitting on the couch doing nothing but watching TV to pass the time. He can see when you decline to go out with a friend who is trying to get you to out of the house and living again. He can see it all and worst of all, he feels so frustrated that you can’t hear him constantly say, “Go out and live! Don’t waste you’re time thinking about my death.”
What I want to remind you is that we never die. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. There’s an incredible amount of evidence all around us but many of us can’t see it. We have been taught to shut those senses down. Yet, evidence is in almost every religion on the planet. There people who bring messages from the nonphysical side all the time such as: mediums, psychics and intuitives. I can’t tell you how much hearing from my Mom after she passed put my heart at ease. It was good to hear she was doing well and that I could talk with her anytime. I thank God there are people who can relay her messages to me. But what I would really love for you to know is that our loved ones, no matter who they are and how they lived their lives, are doing well on the spiritual side. I get that there are many religious beliefs that can make that hard to believe. I used to have them too. However, just this belief alone, that they are somehow suffering, can keep you stuck in an endless cycle of worry even though, in reality, they are just fine and happy.
I would also love for you to know that your life is precious. It is a gift that was given to you. It was not an accident. The exact combination of circumstances had to occur in order for you to even exist. The perfect timing with your mother’s cycle and the perfect culmination of cells coming together to create a very unique and never to exist again combination that is distinctly you. No one on the planet is like you. No one has your unique experiences, knowledge and talents. You are one-of-a-kind. You’re here because you matter. Your life matters. Every moment of your day matters. Don’t squander it. You were meant to live and I mean truly live, not just getting by.
It can be hard to begin the process of living again, but indeed, you already are. Just by reading this blog, you’re beginning to see that you were meant for more and your life was no accident. You were meant to do great things… such as inspiring a friend, giving hope to a family member, bringing truth to anyone struggling to see it. Your loved one’s life was no accident and neither is yours. Every human in this world is meant to experience the richness of living. Like a tree in the spring that is ready to grow, so it is with you. Feel inside, your natural desire to grow. It is the most natural force in the world.
Think about how a tree begins to grow after a hard, cold winter? It does so, by growing a tiny bit every day. You can do that. Start growing just a tiny bit every day. Try doing one new thing every day. Try going to a park or for a nice walk. Try baking cookies and bringing them to a friend. Try sending cards to people you want to say hello to. Watch as your life slowly begins to bloom and you become someone who is once again living life as if each day matters. Because, indeed, each day really does matter. So cherish this day. It’s yours to live.
By the way, if you have had trouble getting through this on your own, then consider having an expert help. Having someone to talk to who isn’t a family member can be very helpful because then you can share what’s really going on with how you’re feeling. There’s no need to pretend you’re doing well just so others aren’t worried about you. To find help, search on the internet for therapists, counselors and coaches who specifically help with grieving. Visit their websites and see if they may be a good fit for you. Having someone who can help inspire you to enjoy life again is essential. Be sure they can do that for you quickly so you can start taking tiny steps right away. If it feels good to talk to them and they are positive and optimistic, those are all great signs that you’re on the right track with your choice.